Hey,
I believe in imagination. Believe in it as the greatest force in the universe. It is my definition and understanding of God. I am not religious. Well at least not a believer in a traditional religion. I believe in imagination. In the past I have thought, "I know God doesn't exist but my life is better on the days when I chose to believe he does." When wrestling with this idea of atheism or agnosticism I started asking myself the question if God created the universe - then where was god before the universe was created. Technically, no universe there is nowhere for God to be. And if it all started with the big bang theory, well there had to be something to 'bang' - where did those things come from? While thinking about it - I realized that there was nothing. There was a dark, dark, enormous amount of nothing. And then there was a strong desire for something. That desire for something created something. Whether it was a particle to bang into something or God to envision all of this, it was nothing and then there was something. That is when I realized Imagination is god. Imagination is the only thing that has the power to create something from nothing. I believe in imagination.
I believe in it. And the theater is my church.
I have been going through a transitional period the last year or so. A lot of great things have come out of that. Actually, one great thing: The Farm Theater. I am immensely proud of what that company has been doing, the artists we are working with, and the community it is building. I may talk about that more here or not. I don't know.
I do know that the transition has been inspired by a decade of being part of a theater company that preaches supporting one another and the self generation of work. The Labyrinth Theater Company. I found that home over ten years ago when a friend invited me to work on a project. It is what I needed at the time. Last year I stepped away from the deep engagement with that community. I'm still a member of the company but I stepped away because they were no longer investing in members. The values had shifted. And I couldn't invest all of my time there - the return on investment was not was not equal to the time and energy I was putting it. At least not in a way that was feeding me. I don't know where I would have gone ten years ago if it had not been for this community. I had stopped pursuing regional theater work. Not because I didn't like regional theater work. I loved it. I loved it too much actually. I would attach myself to a community. I would invest in the audience as well as the artists. And then the play would open, and I would leave.
After a few intense years of working regionally I committed myself to working in New York. I was fortunate in that I was able to book a few Off-Broadway directing jobs at companies that had been goals of mine to work with since moving to New York. The plays were good. The productions all fine. However, I didn't love the process. Or the purpose of doing the work. It seemed to be part of a five show (sometimes more) season machine. I'm grateful that these theaters committed to the work - but there wasn't a passion for the development and discovery of the play which is what engaged me artistically. Now, years later, I realize that I wasn't demanding that of others and myself as an artist. I do have a stronger sense of myself and can maintain that sense of passion for the individual project. I can infuse it to collaborators and shape the experience in a unique and focused way.
However, what I learned through those project that I love discovery. Discovery of new plays, new voices, new ways of seeing things. I love working with experienced and emerging artists. My joy resides in the discovery of what is new. When we know how a play works or how to get to some result - it is no longer exciting. I don't have to do that - we know that already. I am not saying that I am constantly rediscovering the wheel through the process of creating a play, however, I love and am alive in the discovery of what is unique about the journey this wheel is going to take us on. Or the world of this particular wheel.
I also am inspired by others' discoveries. Discovering their talents, their stories, their possibilities. That excites me. I'm writing today for me because I am seriously considering what is next. I hope to build The Farm Theater into something that is able to sustain me professionally and serve a large community of artists.
In the meantime, how do I build a life that is sustained through the work I love?
I am fortunate. I get paid to teach, direct, write, and have had a film or two produced. But like many artists - not paid enough. I want to keep growing and building a foundation under me in order to feel secure while moving forward. I'm wondering today what that foundation is. I know that creating theater is part of it. I know that because, without being dramatic, I would die without doing it. That reality is clear. It is true. I had lunch with a friend yesterday and when I repeated that statement he said, "that is a good thing to know."
There is a saying a lot of experienced artists give to people considering going into theater as a career which is something like, 'if you can do anything else, do it.' I think this is not exactly accurate - I know many theater artists that can do many things well. People should say, "if you can't live without it, do it." While questioning myself regarding what would I do if I couldn't do theater - the only way I could address this was to ask, what would I do if theater hadn't been invented? That lasted about two minutes and then in my head I came up with - I would invent it. So, that's a little stubborn and telling.
But imagination would have it no other way. Imagination is incredibly powerful. It can create something out of nothing. In the meantime I will imagine what that foundation looks like and will set forth on the path of creating that.
Talk with you soon.
Padraic
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Monday, July 21, 2014
focused conversation
Hey,
Late in evening of July 15th I received the first draft of Lindsay's play for the college collaboration project. I didn't read it at first. I don't know why. I liked that it was in my inbox. I was excited to share it with three other schools. It was like a gift that was wrapped and waiting to be opened by others - waiting for their joy and excitement. Or at least I hoped the script would bring joy. This project, it is my first time commissioning something, has been exciting for all of the opportunities it creates. All of the possibilities. And I have enjoyed that part of the process tremendously.
The commission process is truly about creating opportunity. Opportunity for the playwright. And in this case, opportunity for the schools.
The moment I started to read the play the process shifted. This was now moving from theoretical to real. The characters are alive and their lives are important. The world is rich and full and wanting to be realized. The first half of the script is really strong. The second half, like many first drafts, needs some time to mature. And it will. It has time to do that. This process is about giving the play the time and attention it needs for maturation. However, as I began to read the play my mind shifted to dramaturgy. And casting of the workshop. And the practical directorial things that I do with a script. It was still interesting but it became smaller. My job became smaller. I was reverting back into a role I have done before. Director of a new script. I enjoy that role. I'm comfortable in that role. But the excitement of this process has been involving many voices into the process.
The day after I read it, I spoke with Scott Hudson about the play. He had shared the play with the department at Ashland University and they were excited. Yes, everyone agrees the play needs work. And everyone is excited to watch the play evolve. Mostly they were excited because they could see that this playwright has a unique voice and has captured an issue that is so close to the lives of their students. At the school they have already begun discussions of setting up partnerships with counselors around the issue of the play. They are excited to begin using the play as a prompt for a larger dialogue with their community. This is what's thrilling. The larger discussion of theater. The reach a play has beyond the entertainment of one night's audience. It is the inclusion of each artist in the development process as well as the conversation with each collaborator, audience, and community member during the birth of the play.
I am looking forward to meeting with Lindsay and discussing the play. I am excited to cast the August workshop. That work will happen as diligently and specifically as it has happened in many processes before. However, the conversation with Scott reminded me that entering the process of development of the script does not limit the conversation and engagement. It gives it focus.
At all points the play will be the center of the focus. And the playwright's need for developing that work. However, this process, including this blog, The Farm Report, is about a larger discussion. And a longer discussion around the development of a play.
The next step of the process is to make sure in the room of the workshop are many supportive, diverse, engaged minds. Faculty members and students from each school will be in the room , as well as, talented thoughtful actors, and designers who want to discuss the play. It is a conversation the play will be prompting for the next nine months. And that is thrilling.
Thank you to all of you for being part of the conversation.
Congratulations Lindsay on a first draft!
Talk with you soon.
Padraic
Late in evening of July 15th I received the first draft of Lindsay's play for the college collaboration project. I didn't read it at first. I don't know why. I liked that it was in my inbox. I was excited to share it with three other schools. It was like a gift that was wrapped and waiting to be opened by others - waiting for their joy and excitement. Or at least I hoped the script would bring joy. This project, it is my first time commissioning something, has been exciting for all of the opportunities it creates. All of the possibilities. And I have enjoyed that part of the process tremendously.
The commission process is truly about creating opportunity. Opportunity for the playwright. And in this case, opportunity for the schools.
The moment I started to read the play the process shifted. This was now moving from theoretical to real. The characters are alive and their lives are important. The world is rich and full and wanting to be realized. The first half of the script is really strong. The second half, like many first drafts, needs some time to mature. And it will. It has time to do that. This process is about giving the play the time and attention it needs for maturation. However, as I began to read the play my mind shifted to dramaturgy. And casting of the workshop. And the practical directorial things that I do with a script. It was still interesting but it became smaller. My job became smaller. I was reverting back into a role I have done before. Director of a new script. I enjoy that role. I'm comfortable in that role. But the excitement of this process has been involving many voices into the process.
The day after I read it, I spoke with Scott Hudson about the play. He had shared the play with the department at Ashland University and they were excited. Yes, everyone agrees the play needs work. And everyone is excited to watch the play evolve. Mostly they were excited because they could see that this playwright has a unique voice and has captured an issue that is so close to the lives of their students. At the school they have already begun discussions of setting up partnerships with counselors around the issue of the play. They are excited to begin using the play as a prompt for a larger dialogue with their community. This is what's thrilling. The larger discussion of theater. The reach a play has beyond the entertainment of one night's audience. It is the inclusion of each artist in the development process as well as the conversation with each collaborator, audience, and community member during the birth of the play.
I am looking forward to meeting with Lindsay and discussing the play. I am excited to cast the August workshop. That work will happen as diligently and specifically as it has happened in many processes before. However, the conversation with Scott reminded me that entering the process of development of the script does not limit the conversation and engagement. It gives it focus.
At all points the play will be the center of the focus. And the playwright's need for developing that work. However, this process, including this blog, The Farm Report, is about a larger discussion. And a longer discussion around the development of a play.
The next step of the process is to make sure in the room of the workshop are many supportive, diverse, engaged minds. Faculty members and students from each school will be in the room , as well as, talented thoughtful actors, and designers who want to discuss the play. It is a conversation the play will be prompting for the next nine months. And that is thrilling.
Thank you to all of you for being part of the conversation.
Congratulations Lindsay on a first draft!
Talk with you soon.
Padraic
Thursday, June 26, 2014
archives
Old Blog Site
http://blog.padraiclillis.com/2014/06/09/let-go-and--.aspx?ref=rss
Hopefully this is saved - if not, everything is temporary.
http://blog.padraiclillis.com/2014/06/09/let-go-and--.aspx?ref=rss
Hopefully this is saved - if not, everything is temporary.
Everything is Temporary
Hey,
So - they say 'change is good'. I'm not sure who they are. I know I don't enjoy change. However, change is constant. Go Daddy decided to remove their blog services. I think I can save my old blog posts. I don't desperately care about letting them go - but sometimes I wrote about the successes of other people and lessons learned from working with them. I would like to save those.
For now - I am accepting that I have to create a new link to my webpage. Not even sure who reads the posts. But sometimes I need to write them and that seems like the place to attach them. Also, I liked the way the old ones were designed. And I can't create that link until I'm sure that the posts won't disappear. Though I believe they will. Because blogs - like theater, like everything- is temporary.
I am thinking about the temporary today not only because my old blog disappeared but also because a theater company I am a member of is going through a cultural change. We have been going through it for about six years, at least, but now it is coming to a head, where people are feeling the clear effects of change. In the discussion - there are words of revolution, and their are words working together to move forward, but what I realize is that what needs to be included in the conversation is change. We change as people. Our needs change. Our desires. And our abilities.
What was once a grassroots company has become a respected off-broadway company with over a 130 members. Some very prominent in the field. All very talented. The company wants the feeling of family, togetherness, support, and excitement that was there in the beginning. Like all of those things - they change over time. Remembering and honoring the past is important. However, it seems it seems important to also let go of the past while doing that. We can't hold on to them with fists clench tight. We need to know what was important about those times and figure out how to carry the lessons and feeling with us into the future.
I want this for my company as we move forward. Also, I need to remember that theater is vital. Plays are necessary. Especially in my life. However, they are temporary. I am currently directing Henry V - it is a large play. It is consuming a lot of my time. But come July 17th it will open and my job will be done. And by August 2nd it will no longer be performing. It will, I hope, be a pleasant memory. One that stays with me for many years as have other productions in the past. I know that I will carry with me the lessons that I learned from this play and apply them to future productions. Some I will have to learn again.
I had a thought to list all the things that are temporary but when my mind thought about the friends and family in my life that are gone. Their physical existence may be temporary but the feelings they created are not. They are lasting. As are the descendants from them a continuation of them. And the impact and lessons taught. We carry them with us. So...as I move forward to new projects, letting go of old blogs, and building new relationships, I hope to carry with me the good feelings, the lessons learned, and an excitement for what is coming.
Talk with you all soon.
Padraic
So - they say 'change is good'. I'm not sure who they are. I know I don't enjoy change. However, change is constant. Go Daddy decided to remove their blog services. I think I can save my old blog posts. I don't desperately care about letting them go - but sometimes I wrote about the successes of other people and lessons learned from working with them. I would like to save those.
For now - I am accepting that I have to create a new link to my webpage. Not even sure who reads the posts. But sometimes I need to write them and that seems like the place to attach them. Also, I liked the way the old ones were designed. And I can't create that link until I'm sure that the posts won't disappear. Though I believe they will. Because blogs - like theater, like everything- is temporary.
I am thinking about the temporary today not only because my old blog disappeared but also because a theater company I am a member of is going through a cultural change. We have been going through it for about six years, at least, but now it is coming to a head, where people are feeling the clear effects of change. In the discussion - there are words of revolution, and their are words working together to move forward, but what I realize is that what needs to be included in the conversation is change. We change as people. Our needs change. Our desires. And our abilities.
What was once a grassroots company has become a respected off-broadway company with over a 130 members. Some very prominent in the field. All very talented. The company wants the feeling of family, togetherness, support, and excitement that was there in the beginning. Like all of those things - they change over time. Remembering and honoring the past is important. However, it seems it seems important to also let go of the past while doing that. We can't hold on to them with fists clench tight. We need to know what was important about those times and figure out how to carry the lessons and feeling with us into the future.
I want this for my company as we move forward. Also, I need to remember that theater is vital. Plays are necessary. Especially in my life. However, they are temporary. I am currently directing Henry V - it is a large play. It is consuming a lot of my time. But come July 17th it will open and my job will be done. And by August 2nd it will no longer be performing. It will, I hope, be a pleasant memory. One that stays with me for many years as have other productions in the past. I know that I will carry with me the lessons that I learned from this play and apply them to future productions. Some I will have to learn again.
I had a thought to list all the things that are temporary but when my mind thought about the friends and family in my life that are gone. Their physical existence may be temporary but the feelings they created are not. They are lasting. As are the descendants from them a continuation of them. And the impact and lessons taught. We carry them with us. So...as I move forward to new projects, letting go of old blogs, and building new relationships, I hope to carry with me the good feelings, the lessons learned, and an excitement for what is coming.
Talk with you all soon.
Padraic
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